Little Miss Mary

Mary had a little pig.
Its ticks were white as snow.
They were so juicy and big,
And she loved to eat them so...

But every time she tried to,
Papa bleats would appear, strict and stern
So she'd hide herself in the loo
And poor Papa'd wait hours for his turn.

"Mary, Mary!" yelled Papa.
"Yes, Papa?" screamed Mary.
"Eating ticks?" asked Papa.
"No, Papa!" screeched Mary.

"Telling lies?" thundered Papa.
"No, Papa!!" Lied Mary.
"Open the door!" shouted Papa.
"Fat chance!" mocked Mary.

Then Mary decided to run away
'Coz Papa wouldn't let her eat bugs anymore,
And Mary just HAD to have her way-
'Sides, Papa always was such a dead bore!

Miles away, a Jack and a Jill
Fell prey to Cupid's arrows.
So they went and checked into The Hill,
But found it much too gross!

They found tons of termites everywhere-
Not to mention the bed bugs!
But because there were no other rooms to spare,
They fell to attacking them with drugs!

Suddenly, someone burst in!
Lo, and behold! It was Mary Bleats!
She thought it an ugly sin
To waste all those yummy treats...

So fast did she gobble up the bugs,
Mr. Hotel Manager hired her as exterminator!
So Jack and Jill made Mary (alias Bugs)
Their friend and lived together happily ever after.